How can it be, this feeling, inexplicable and ever burdening weight. Penterdating and clinging onto my bones, even with a steel plated armor on - yet I feel it all around me, wrapped around like thorn covered hands. Lashing and piercing at me as they see fit. Halting me steadfast, unable to move or breath, not even a sound. Damn it all.
Burrow as I must, with my bare hands to feel what's plaguing me inside; my eyes yield no results; welcoming vails of shadow enriching this damnable feeling. And I, left to my own demise, ever wondering what is causing such distress, sipping away time and with it my youth.*smirk* Life, in your glory do you take, as fast as you give....
For at last the crows have arrived - afterlives' messengers. Whispering and flapping their old brittlely wings, serenating with melancholic notes of my imminent departure. At long last... my time has come - how little have I lived, how little have I felt, how little have I dealt. In the ending despair is at my site whispering all the things I haven't done and things I wished for... how am gonna miss being alive....
"The stonemason" Entry #1 The prelude of despair.
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Life has been interesting. This past year was all about mending, gaining my lost 'overused" voice and yet in the process of that I found myself lost and numb. Traveling and seeing the world, looking at the words I've listen daily on those long hours on stream, expressing the feelings that I felt on those blogs. Echoing and showcasing me the reality I wasn't apart of. As I move the page, and I with it, faced with a new theme and myself back in my studio; I begin to feel again. Alone in absolute silence, no distractions but my own untampered thoughts. Emotional turbulence once more, forging the way in "The Stonemason" story. An old mason, who's filled with nothing but regret, isolated and tantalized from his past. Longing being a disease that eats his to his core and strips him from hope; a malice no one wish to find themselves in. A fate if not careful, I might share. Countless thoughts and ideas expressed to deepen this new character, his personality, his long lived tormented life of his past atrocious acts, covered by words such as "necessity" that he no longer upholds. A prolonged life that was build on a promise he made. At his final hours of his life, are we to see and understand what time does to a lonely and desperate soul avoided of reprieve nor kindness. His surroundings will become our words and his abandoned art, our sentences, explaining the madness and misery he endured.
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Faced once again with a long journey of a new theme. Back again to where it all began, changed and matured I pave forward a melancholic theme revolving around mental health and love and the price of human life stripped from war.
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#kakolukia #theme #art #artist #newjourney